Just What The Hell Are Those Things!
by NinjasWillRuleTheWorld
Summary: Link has just awoken from his seven year wait in the Temple of Time. Upon arriving in Castle Town, he is shocked not to see townspeople, but these zombie things inhabiting the marketplace. Just what the hell are those things!


_**Hi All! :D**_

_**This is just something I came up with after reading a comic strip about ReDeads and Link. The first time I saw these things freaked me out so I was just imagining how Link felt when he first saw them! Enjoy! :D**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Legend of Zelda or any of the characters. If I did, anime_kaz's idea would totally be the storyline to one of the games! Check out her story, 'I don't want to lose you'. **_

**Just What The Hell Are Those Things?**

Seven years had passed since Link had pulled the Master Sword from its pedestal in the Temple of Time. For him, it had been like sleeping for a while and waking up. For everyone else, the seven years were a living nightmare as Ganondorf took over Hyrule.

He left the temple, curious to see how Castle Town looked different now, seven years later. Oh, how shocked he was.

The town was in a complete state of ruin. The plants that had once decorated the lovely marketplace were withered and dead, and the skies themselves seemed depressed at how it was now. But that's not what caught Link's attention most. There were these… _things_ standing in the corners of the town. They looked… sickening! God, they were so ugly! Brown, decaying skin and black holes for eyes, they stumbled around moaning. Couldn't blame them, really. I mean, who wouldn't complain if they looked like these things? Link's face fell when he saw these monstrosities dwelling in the once lively Castle Town.

Link stood close to the wall, nervous to step out in case these things weren't just the old commoners of the marketplace under a horrible curse but actual monsters that were capable of causing him damage. Perhaps even killing him!

Unfortunately they saw him, and began making their way over to him. Oops, the snail just beat them there. They were slow, thank goodness. Link merely walked out a little and there were about four walking behind him while he leisurely strolled through the once inhabited-by-ordinary-people-not-stalker-monsters marketplace. Link got a few steps in front of them and turned around. They were persistent, and Link just stood there. Suddenly, his face broke out into a wide grin and he poked the one in front with his sword.

The ReDead did not look amused. In fact, it looked downright livid (or, at least, as livid as a dead thing can look)! Then suddenly, it screamed. It wasn't very dignified, like a little girls' scream. Link froze. Did the scream do that? The ReDeads were closing in on him, and he could do nothing about it. The one he poked was just a little faster than the others. Link freaked out. Oh god, what was it going to do to him?

Link regained his movement just as the ReDead climbed on his back. Okay, these things _definitely _had no dignity! Was it trying to kill him or rape him now? It was painful, and painfully embarrassing! Thank god there was no one around to see this zombie thing hump the life out of him. Except the other ReDeads. Oh, god, the other ReDeads! They were getting closer now. Link cried out his famous cry of fear, like when he was falling.

He was smothered. He was being slowly killed by several corpses that didn't know the meaning of the word 'pride'. It definitely was nothing to be proud of, the way they were killing him.

"Roar grr (Hey, I kill people by breathing fire. How do you kill)?"

"Moan (Oh, I hump them to death)". Link was sure this thing was the subject of many jokes among the other monsters. In fact, Link himself wasn't feeling very proud. Well, who would be proud to die the way he was now?

Finally, after about half an hour of this suffering, the sweet embrace of death came to him. Well, at least he couldn't feel those monsters draining his life away in a most undignified way anymore. Well, he just happened to have a fairy with him at the time. Apparently, fairies aren't affected by lack of oxygen for seven years trapped in a bottle. The fairy gave him his life back. Link stood up, and the ReDeads screamed.

Link just really isn't a lucky time of person. Anyone as far away as Lon Lon Ranch could hear him now.

"Gaaaahhhhhh!"

_**So, like it? It's my first Legend of Zelda fanfic so forgive me if I got some details wrong. I haven't actually played OoT up to this point, but I've watched my friend play. No offence to ReDeads at all, they're one of my favourite monsters in the game! They're just so cool, the way their scream paralyzes Link and the way they dance in I think Majora's Mask! Seriously, they're awesome.**_

_**This idea came from VG Cats comic number 80 'Dead & Loving It'. Check it out if you get the time! It's seriously funny! **_

_**Anyways, thank you for reading and please review! :D **_


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